In Defense of Daddy
The other night I was helping Rachel put the boys to bed, as we do, and I was cuddling up to Jakob in his bed. He loves to tell me all about his day and what he did. It’s very cute. I began to test the waters with him and told him that Daddy will always live in his heart, no matter what happens. He looked at me and said “In my heart? Oh. Ok.” Then we tested it a few times… where will Daddy live?
Jakob: “ummm…. kindy?”
Jakob: “In my heart?”
Daddy: “Yes, that’s right. So even if I have to leave I will always love you and live in your heart. Sometimes people have to go away and can’t come back, like when they’re very sick.”
Cody walked in at that exact moment and got very angry. “NO!” he shouted. “YOU CAN’T LEAVE!”
“Why are you going, and why can’t you come back? There’s only one Daddy for a family and you’re our Daddy….and…. and… You can’t go!”
He had tears running down his cheeks and the look on his face was pure fury. He was angry.
At that point I couldn’t contain it anymore and collapsed in sobs. We talked it through a bit more and then we prayed with them. Pretty soon they were asleep but it wasn’t easy.
Somehow I have to help my boys understand what’s coming.
Dear God, no father should ever have to do this.