Would the real Reality please stand up?

It’s been a while now since my prognosis was updated from ‘treatable’ to ‘terminal’.

We’ve prepared as much of our lives as possible for the (medically) inevitable. Our parent’s and friends have been a great help in getting this rolling, flying in from Perth and Auckland. Physically we’ve had to sort through 3 years worth of stuff in storage. Electronically it’s been getting all finances and authorisations sorted and flowing into the one right place. That’s nearly done except for a couple of small things. But otherwise we’re on track.

I’m being visited every day by NSW Home Nursing so a nurse can drain my stomach port to bearable  levels. They’ve also given me a wheelchair, which is very handy as I can’t walk without becoming breathless or exhausted after a few steps. My stoma/bowel is incredibly active and quite tender as a result so that’s been added to the pain management schedule. Yes, I have a ‘schedule’ for managing my pain. The first few weeks were trial and error but now we seem to be settling on a preferred treatment style that the palliative oncologist is happy with. In his mind, pain management is key… if I’m not comfortable then he’s failing, he says.

Anyway…. the drugs really alter my perception of reality. They also severely diminish my ability to actually use my body other than for standing up or laying down. I really hate it.

I feel so much less than human but there’s nothing I can do unless I want to leave this earth a bawling mass  of pain. That doesn’t really sit well with me either so…. excuse me while I go back and put my zombie outfit on.

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~ by Kristian Anderson on November 27, 2011.

174 Responses to “Would the real Reality please stand up?”

  1. Kristian, I was at Oprah that day for that episode where you and your family received her gift and I sent you and your wife, your boys, your family every ounce of prayer I had that life would be kind. And every day since then, yoiu have all been in my thoughts and prayers.

    When I heard on the radio that your condition had changed, I had to stop driving because my heart was breaking for you, your wife, your boys and all those in your life that love you. The love you showed on the show that day, in that video you recorded, is something so precious, so rare.

    I can’t imagine what you and your family must be experiencing right now. I send all my love, my prayers, my strength and my hope to each of you for all the days ahead.

    God bless.

  2. I will be praying for you mate. This is the first time since I have been getting these that you havent mentioned Jesus or God at all. I pray that although your body is failing that your mind keeps on track with the end goal (heaven).

  3. Sending you much love Kristian.

  4. I’m sending you lots of love and prayers Kristian. You are so brave and its inspired and changed me forever. I am closer to God and my family because of you. Thank you so much. I love you.
    Shannon,24
    Cottonwood, CA USA

  5. I know just what you are saying and were you are coming from. Unfortunately my darling husband Norbie who has paralleled a lot of your symptoms and treatments lost his 27 month battle with this dreaded disease last Sunday 20th November. It has devistated so many of us. I wish you peace and freedom from pain. Thank you for your blog as I have followed it since the beginning and you voiced so much of what we were going through. Love to all

    Gail.

  6. Hi Kristian we just received you update and our thoughts and prayers are with you all. We pray that Gods Grace is truly suffient fo you all at this time.
    Father in Heaven we ask in Jesus mighty name for your abundant Grace and Mercy to cover Kristian and his entire family at this time. We thank you Jesus that your Blood that was shed for us is the key that gets us home to be with you and that you alone know that time, we trust you Father to look after our brother Kristian and his family and keep his pain to a minimum in Jesus name Amen. God richest blessing my friend always. Trevor & Charmaine

  7. Kristian,
    I remind you that you are not alone! (Though you may feel like it.)

  8. Stay strong mate. Your words give strength to so many others.

    We will all be thinking of you.

  9. I can’t pretend to know what pain you are in, but I pray that you find a comfortable levels soon. You are human, you are muched loved by so many people. Zombie suit or not, I will not stop believing for a miracle and praying for you, Rachel and your beautiful boys. You continue everyday to teach me. Through you, my faith has grown stronger and I cherish my time, nothing is taken for granted anymore.Thank you Kris for that. Be strong my friend. Sending you prayers of peace, love and strength.

  10. Praying for you and your family, there are no words…
    May the deep peace of Christ be with you all
    May the strong arms of the Father surround you all
    And may the fellowship of the Holy Spirit strengthen you in everyway.
    Much love from CHCH NZ

  11. Is 41:10
    May our beautiful Saviour be with you and your family, and give you strength and peace to cope, to have beautiful times with your family. Always still praying for your miracle. With much Christian love…

  12. Kristian, if I could take all your pain away I would….It hurts me to know you are hurting in so many ways…this is so not fair!
    But we are not giving up…I will continue to pray harder then ever for you and your family. God has to be listening,you are surrounded by so much love from everywhere…he just has to be listening.

    Father I call on you,we are losing precious time here, and we need your miracle for Kristian,for you are the greatest healer and only you can stop this pain and sickness in Kristian…Father I ask in Jesus name…Kristian and his family need this miracle, we all need this miracle…Amen

    Love you Kristian,be strong, we are with you,in his love…from a distance,

    Sandra

  13. I am praying for you and your family. Your strength through these trying times has been an inspiration. Please know that there are so many people thinking of you and still praying for a miracle.

  14. Ohh Kristian, I am so sorry that you are going through this. Please know that you are never alone, even though you may feel that way. You have touched each of us , initially with your love story , and now this. Please know that we care and that we cry with you. We can’t change anything about this stage, but know that in our hearts we are there with you. God bless you Kristian , and keep you safe in the palm of his hand. xxxxxx

  15. Kristian, thank you for taking the time to update. I have been praying for you and your family. Your update was a reminder that I should be keeping up those prayers. God Bless you.

  16. Bless you for taking care of all those necessary but dreaded things that need to be signed and in order. This is something that will help your wife more than you can imagine.

    I think of you and your family often. Please know that there are strangers out here that care about all of you.

  17. Be strong and keep your faith, Kristian. You and your family are in my prayers every step of the way in this battle.

  18. Much love and prayers for you and your family, Kristian

  19. I really hope your days are as pain free as possible, but that you can really enjoy and immerse yourself in the time you have with your family.

    I just want to thank you for sharing your journey – I lost my mum in august last year after she lost her 2 and a half year battle with bowel cancer. She was always so upbeat and positive and didn’t really talk about the pain or fear – so reading your entries has helped me to heal a little.

    Thank you Kristian – I wish you much love and peace

  20. Kristian, I listened to your interview on the radio from here in the US and I have to admit there were tears at times. But I was also so blessed by your faith and courage. I also stopped to think about how many Christians from all around the world have joined together to pray for you. We need to do that more often but this is a start. Imagine the impact! You have inspired us to do so. With your life, you have encouraged so many and to show us how important faith is in the middle of a storm. Even when we think we are alone…HE never lets go of us. I pray for you and your family constantly and will continue to do so. God bless you, Kristian.

    Still praying and believing!

    Lisa in Alabama

  21. kristian,

    abundant thoughts and prayers continue as you move along this undesired path. i know that you are making every effort to give as well as absorb as many memories and as much love as is possible during these days. being surrounded by those you love…and those that love you, is so important. be assured that there are countless others that are following and blessing you and your family every minute. wishing you great love, every comfort, and much peace through each day…..always.

  22. Continuing to hold you & your family in my thoughts…

  23. Oh Kristian my heart has sank to the pit of my stomach with this news… we all try and do whats right in our lives and it just sucks so much when we are dealt a hand like this….But our lord and savour has a planI hope than you will be able to spend whatever precios time you have left with your loving wife and your precious children… i’ve ben following your blog for quite some time and you have realy touched my life with all of your Passion and you love for your wife and kids… it has given me a better look on life…
    Be as strong as you can my friend and I will be praying for peace for you and yours…. Love my Friend

  24. If I had words to make a day for you
    I’d sing you a morning, golden and new
    I would make this day last for all time
    Give you a night dipped in moon shine

    If I had words to make a day for you
    I’d sing you a morning, golden and new
    I would make this day last for all time

  25. :( You are a such a beautiful, caring, strong talented person. You are so loved by many! Still praying for you! Hoping you are in no pain. Modern medicine and cancer you suck!!!! Your family and you will be together forever wherever you are. You will never be forgotten.

  26. Dear Kristian, I hope you and your family manage to find the strength to be strong in such a difficult time. My prayers are with you all…

  27. Kristian, my thoughts, prayers and love are with you and your family. I lost my Grandmother 3 years ago to a very aggressive cancer and the pain for both her and us was excruciating-but now I rest easy knowing she is free of the pain. The fact you are getting your affairs in order is fantastic-you do not realise how much help this will be to the family.
    Stay strong Kristian. Don’t lose sight of the goals you have set yourself-the strength you have shown throughout your ordeal is amazing and I admire you for everything you have struggled through.
    We’ll miss you Kristian, but your message and your spirit and love will live on in this world forever…enjoy the next world with everything.

  28. Gail, I’m so terribly sorry for your loss. I’ve no other way to tell you, but I want you to know I’ve seen your comments before and I’m truly shattered for you.

    Kristian, I have no words. I know first hand how these logistics are, the toll they take, (though the small amount of consolation they offer, knowing they’re taken care of). I agree with your oncologist. Having watched and cared for someone who died in a tremendous amount of pain, my prayer for you and for Rachel is that you are comfortable. Whether it be a peaceful passing of a miraculous turn around, my hope is for comfort. For all of you. Physical and emotional.

  29. No words…..only the ache from my heart….wordless prayers rising to our Heavenly Father……they will continue…..you and your family are precious to me.

  30. Kristian–you are surrounded by love. You ARE love, and your love will shine, no matter where you are. Rachel, Cody, and Jakob will feel that love–now and always.

    I am half a world away, but my prayers continue to go up for you and your family. The first words of all the angels in scripture are “Fear not.” I pray that you will not be afraid, and that the love of the One who made you will sustain you and your family in the days ahead. In the end, there is only love. It is what we are made for and what we return to. Peaceful journey, my friend….

    Doxy

  31. Sending love & prayers across that big blue ocean to you & your family.

  32. There are no words. I wish you peace and will continue to pray for you and your family.

  33. I can’t think of the right words to say to you right now. I wish so much that you could know how what you’ve written here has touched and inspired me.

    My dad lost his battle with cancer two years ago, and so many times I’ve heard his voice while reading your posts. (I think the two of you would have liked eachother, and I know he felt many of the things you’ve written here.)

    I wish I had the words then and now to comfort and encourage at a time that is so painfully heartbreaking, but all I can think of is to say thank you for who you are and who you have been in my life and (even though I only know you through what you’ve written here) I love you and I pray that God will somehow carry you and your family through this. I pray that He wil give you peace and comfort and even some joy in the midst of this storm.

    Lots of love,
    Becky (from Canada)

  34. Hey Kristian, you have changed my life forever. You have made me relize that life is so precious , here today , stressed, no time for the kids, fighting with family, but realistically means nothing when tomorrow may never come. I live my life for today, as there is only today, time for my beautiful kids, and on my way to have a great relationship with family. Thank you for sharing your life with the world. Words can not thank you enough. May you, Rachael your boys and family have strenght over the coming days, weeks and years. Kristian, thankyou so much for my life.

  35. Love is stronger than death even though it can’t stop death from happening, but no matter how hard death tries it can’t separate people from love. In the end, life is stronger than death.

  36. Bless you Kristian, for you have truly been a blessing to so many around the world…what an incredible man you are to have touched and united so many by sharing your life and faith.

    I continue to pray for the miracle of healing, for peace for you and those who love you and mostly I pray that you don’t take your eyes off of God. Please don’t lose sight of Him now. He is with you, loves you.

  37. Dear Kristian,
    I have followed you since Oprah and talk about your strength to my 8 year old. We have you and your family in our thoughts.
    Be strong.
    jo
    (London)

  38. I have read your blog since I first saw your video. Then I saw you on Oprah and the world knew your story. Thank you for sharing your journey…all of it. You are amazing and those of us who only know you through your words and the love you share are changed.
    Peace and love in the light Kristian.
    Shannon

  39. Precious boy….gentle father…..loving husband…..you have cared for your family in the best possible maner – you have done everything humanly possible and you fought and continue to fight the good battle….may the peace of Our LORD, Jesus Christ be upon you and yours. Keep feeling the love that we have for you and know that your LORD and SAVIOUR is holding you in the palm of His hand. Inhale strength from your loving family’s hugs and kisses and be at rest. Till we meet in Heaven,
    Cathy
    the grandma from North Carolina with non hodgkins lymphoma (I will NEVER capitalize those words again – thanks to you)

  40. Hi Kristian

    I first heard of you from your church member who is in our company’s Christian fellowship group. Today, I heard that your situation has changed and I want to let you know that our fellowship group has just prayed for you.

    I’m going to write to a few more Christian friends and ask them to pray for you and to spread the word.

    I have recently finished reading ‘Flight to heaven’, ’90 minutes in heaven’, ‘The boy who went to heaven and back’ and ‘Heaven is for real’. These books tell me that heaven is a beautiful place. But I know that you are not ready to go there. Your boys and wife and family still need you. What these books have in common is that the the authors were ‘brought back to life’ by hundreds and thousands of people praying for them. That is what we can do for you. We can intercede for you in prayer. (People who are following this blog, let’s spread the word around and pray for Kristian). God is still in the miracle business. HE is your creator and HE can restore your health.

    “Psalm 91:3
    Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare and from the deadly pestilence.

    He will cover you with HIS feathers and under HIS wings, you will find refuge.”

    Let’s reject the doctors’ diagnosis and prognosis. Jesus is the Alpha and Omega. HE has the first and last say in every situation including yours. Under HIS name, cancer shall bow. By HIS stripes, you are healed.

    May God gives you and your family strength to get through this tough time. May you keep your eyes on HIM.

    Shalom.

    Irene

  41. Dear Kris,
    I know you are in hospital right now, and am praying that you can beat this infection. Finding the right words is difficult, just know that you are loved a LOT and my prayers for comfort, strength, peace and your miracle continue.
    Much love to you, Rachel and the boys
    Chris R @deansmum

  42. He is right there with you Kris. Lots of prayers being sent.

  43. Kristian, my heart is breaking for you and your family right now and I’m praying for you all; for the peace that passes understanding. You have been courageous to prepare things as well as you can when you must be feeling tremendous fatigue. Your wife will be grateful for this in the days ahead. (I speak as someone who has been in her position.) A verse that meant a lot to me is “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.” (2 Tim 4)

  44. Dear Kristian,
    I have you and your family in my thoughts always. I hope the pain medication gives you the relief that you need. Much love to you all.

  45. Dear Kristian,
    Your beautiful wife teaches my daughter at school. Morgan loves Mrs Anderson and often talks about you and is always concerned for how she is feeling. We wish you all the love in the world and we know you have a wonderful family that will have you “in their hearts forever”
    God Bless : )
    Kerry, Taylor, Morgan and Graham Jones. Avalon , NSW , Australia

  46. Kristian,

    All the way from Ontario Canada I have followed your journey since the day your family appeared on my screen. Trust in that you have meant so much to so many people around the world. We think of you often, sending love and prayers for your family. We will continue to send those things long after the journey has ended. You are loved and this isn’t the end…

  47. Dearest Kristian,

    How is it possible that a world away I find my heart broken at the thought of your life being extinguished and your children and wife going on without you. I have followed you path intermentintly since you were on Oprah, supporting you in prayer and seeking out your blog occasionally to reassure myself that your light did indeed shine. I pray for you and your family as only I can with groans and moans that only God understands. Truly you hav been a light and if your time is now, you will have left a beautiful and lasting legacy to your family…but also to the world. God Bless and keep you, always.

  48. Kristian,

    You truly are an amazing man with the strength of so many it is incredible, please know we are all with you in your deepest hours and I have found myself thinking of you and your amazing family so much as of late I find strength from your words of true courage and as they say…perhaps my friend you are too good for this earth and you are required upstairs to be a bigger and more amazing soul than you can ever imagine…I lost my father at 49 yo he was too young to go as well, he was a man of amazing integrity and a true mentor to myself and my ten year old daughter, he was an angel and a man of honour and courage he was a police officer and also the passion he showed for his family, friends and the community still lives on today, he left a mark on this earth and Kristian you are still with us darling and I have no right to say keep up the fight because only you know when the fighting can subside….hugs and prayers beautiful man x

  49. Kristian, All I can say its that you are amazing person an example of strengh and love. I know your dad and mum since Leinster, and I have so much respect and love for them.

    Please be strong…..

  50. my heart is breaking for you and your family Kristian. what ever happens you have been an inspiration to us all. there is a reason for everything & there is a reason for your presence with us in this world. Lessons are always learnt no matter how unfair & unjust the world seems sometimes. May the Lord Bless you and your family in the coming weeks.

  51. your expressing words mostly unspoken by those who suffer. I am encouraged by your honesty in dealing and submitting you brokenness to God. Even in these heartbreaking days God is still sovereign.

  52. Hi Kristian and Family.

    My thoughts a best wishes for you all at this tough time. Stay Strong.

    Damo

    your ex sound guy FSM

  53. Kristian,

    In Daniel 3, Daniel’s 3 friend’s were facing death and they told the king :”If we are thrown into the furnace, the God we serve is able to save us from it and He will rescue us from your hand.”, then they said,”even if He does not… We will not serve other Gods.” My prayer is that you and your family will continue to trust in our amazing God no matter what happened… You can’t lose with God… Remember, to live is Christ and to die is gain… Stay strong mate, praying for you and your family…

  54. Dear Kristian, Thank you for taking the time to update, as I have been checking and checking and hoping to hear from you. It just shows, once again, how you are helping others despite your own discomforts! Again, thank you a million times over for sharing; you are helping me get through my dad’s battle with cancer and with the doctor’s news that he has very little time left. Just last night I went to the funeral Mass of my dear co-worker, a Marist brother, who lost his 3 year battle. He spent his whole life serving others—traditional students, children with disabilities, children with cancer, adults who needed counseling. He lived the Beatitudes every minute of the day. You, my dear friend, are doing the same! You have educated, empathized, cared, changed laws, brought the importance of parenting and marriage and togetherness to the forefront. I’m not saying God is done with you yet—don’t give up! But know that you are loved and appreciated in ways too deep to explain! If there is a way that someone like me can help, please don’t hesitate to ask! The offer is sincere! I love you and your family! Love, Mary K. S. from New Jersey, U.S.A.

  55. Hi Kristian and Rachel,

    I am a journalist at the Herald on Sunday newspaper in New Zealand. We in New Zealand have been hugle moved by your story and I was just hoping that I might be able to contact you. Is there a number or an email address that I could reach you on please?

    Kind regards
    Bevan.hurley@hos.co.nz

  56. Kristian and Rachel, you and your boys will be in my prayers. Thankyou to all of you for showing what real love is and I am glad you were one of God’s chosen ones to experience that love in this lifetime that will still even live on into the next. You are inspiring and THANKYOU for sharing that with us. You have touched my heart xxxxxxxx

  57. God bless you and your family at this time. The strength and courage you have shown has been nothing short of inspiring to me personally. Your boys can be proud of their dad as they grow, like you said, you will always be in their hearts xxx

  58. Hello Kristian,
    My name is Phil. It’s 3:10am in Amsterdam and I have just read every entry of your blog. I’m not really sure what words I can offer to give you any comfort, but perhaps to let you know that what I read tonight was truly great. An example of humanity in its purest form that I’ve ever encountered. The kind of stuff that can change someones life direction. And that’s no mean feat. I have a beautiful wife and two small lovely children and your words spoke to my heart and filled me with emotion and a longing to hug you and whisper in your ear my personal prayer for you.

  59. Please pray for Kristian right now,this very minute everyone please.

    I just read kristians update on twitter.

    http://twitter.com/krispa

    He is frail and is awaiting emergency surgery.
    Please pray for him right now.Please.

    J

  60. Hi, Kristian,

    I heard about you through Black Lab. I would like to send you a private message, but where?

    • Check the “About” section for an email address. I keep Facebook private… just friends in real life and family members.

  61. Praying, praying, praying from Auckland

  62. In my thoughts today and everyday Kristian. Sending you all my strength.
    Lorraine, Ireland

  63. I wish I could write something profound, something meaningful, something that matters… I just want to wish you well, to send you love and wish you freedom from your pain.

    Peace, love and light to you and your beautiful family.

  64. MAY KNOWING YOU’RE IN THE HEARTS AND THOUGHTS OF OTHERS HELP YOU & YOURS THROUGH THIS TIME OF SORROW. GENTLE THOUGHTS DURING THESE DIFFICULT DAYS. SHARING IN YOUR SORROW WITH LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP. TERE

  65. Dear Kristian,
    Today is my birthday. My only wish is that you are peaceful and feeling loved. If I had 20 birthdays to give you, I would so gladly.
    Anne

  66. Kristian, I am thinking of you all day long , and I am praying for the best for you. You are always in my thoughts. Everybody prays for you. Whatever the country,

  67. Sending LOVE LIGHT and PRAYERS for you and your family xxxxx

  68. Sending my love to you and your family Kristian god bless x

  69. My prayers are with you & your family.
    I run a support group for Widows/widowers with young children at everafterwidowed.com
    Aisling xx

  70. Kristian and Rachael. I have just come across your blog. There are no words that I can say that adequately express my feelings. All I can say is that will have my prayers as you walk this journey. May His strength sustain you and His peace surround you.

  71. Kris has been updating on twitter….seems like the surgery has gone well. Keep fighting Kris.

  72. Dear kristian
    Over the last six years, my two sisters, myself and my mother had be diagnosed with cancer. My sisters and I were blessed to be in remission, but our dear mother passed away September after her battle. My heart truely breaks for you and your family as no child so young should have to feel the pain of loosing their parent. Having lost my dad as a child also, tour message to your boys will help knowing you will always be in their hearts and Rachel’s. I will continue to pray for a miracle for you. Remember you have impacted on so many peoples lives so forever in our hearts you will be.

  73. You and your family are in my prayers….take care Kristian, your story has truly touched my life xxx

  74. Kristian I found you on twitter and have been reading your tweets. Hope you are recovering well after your surgery and it has eased some of the pain

  75. Kris, I was listening to this Amy Grant song today and thought of you. I am relieved to hear the surgery went well. Our hearts, thoughts & prayers are with all of you. XOXOX

    “I am waiting in a silent prayer.
    I am frightened by the load I bear.
    In a world as cold as stone,
    Must I walk this path alone?
    Be with me now.
    Be with me now.

    Breath of heaven,
    Hold me together,
    Be forever near me,
    Breath of heaven.
    Breath of heaven,
    Lighten my darkness,
    Pour over me your holiness,
    For you are holy.
    Breath of heaven.”

    ~Alison
    Garner, NC

  76. Hey there
    I was reading the Daily Telegraph the other day & there was an article about the love you & Rachel share and that you were in a hospice and may not have much time. I’ll be honest, I saw you & Rachel on Oprah and did not know anything about your story….until the other week when I was listening to The Grill Team and then of course had to check out You Tube and watched the amazing video tribute to your wife.
    What an amazing human being you are, such strength and courage and I cannot even begin to imagine what you & your family have been going through. Rachel, you truly are superwoman. You & your family are in my prayers and I will not give up hope. God bless

  77. That’s twice now that this agnostic has, in tears, attempted to pray for you… Sending love.

  78. You’re strength, determination and love is inspirational… what you have created and how you have moved so many with continue to live on… your journey is now your legacy and you should be so proud. You are in the hearts of many you and your family will remain in my heart forever. Thankyou for reminding us all about love.

  79. Kris, glad surgery went well, you had the whole world praying for you. Hope today was a better day . Sending you , Rachel and the boys much love. I hope you know how many people love and care for you.
    Chris R @deansmum

  80. Muxh love and light to you Kristian, prayers I send out for freedom from pain and fear xxxxx

    To laugh often and much;
    to win the respect of the intelligent people
    and the affection of children;
    to earn the appreciation of honest critics
    and endure the betrayal of false friends;
    to appreciate beauty;
    to find the best in others;
    to leave the world a bit better
    whether by a healthy child,
    a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition;
    to know that one life has breathed easier
    because you lived here.
    This is to have succeeded.

    As you danced in the light with joy,
    love lifted you. As you brushed against
    this world so gently, you lifted us.
    Thank you

  81. Its been a long while since we’ve been in touch – you drift in and out of my thoughts alot. I dont know if you remember me, i helped you with music for some productions a few years back.

    Kristian, since hearing of your diagnosis ive prayed for you, cheered when Oprah helped you, and i regularly check in on your blog just to see how you are.

    You see, i feel like im living a slightly parralled life as my mum was diagnosed with the exact same cancer as yours just in July this year. She’s currently undergoing chemo and things are looking positive for now.
    We were so scared when she was diagnosed but it was stories about you that gave us all strength and hope.

    I am however, at a complete loss for words after reading your latest entry. I will continue to rant “this world is f***ing unfair!!!!!!” because, lets face it, it is. No one should have to endure what you and your family have … Ever!

    You are a beautiful soul and i know your strength will live on forever. My heart is with You, Rachel and your beautiful boys.

    Like i said that day all those years ago. May the force be with you……….. Always.

    Daniela xx

  82. Kris tweeting …..asking for prayers. Things bad again.

  83. Praying … kia kaha Kristian and Rachel xxx

  84. Praying for you, Kristian. Your family’s story is so like my family’s story.

  85. Praying Kristian

  86. Praying Kris, with all my heart. I have no words right now, but my heart is open and I am willing you on, praying for strength, love, peace…. and ‘that miracle’, as always xoxoxoxoxox

  87. I am reading a book named Anti cancer and it is about preventing, treating and slowing down cancer with food. The book shows remarkable clinical results but they have a heard time reaching the public since there is no profit to be made since food cannot be patented. Read it, and if nothing else, start drinking three cups of green tea each day. Wish you health and keep fighting.

    • Sofia, thank you for telling us about this book. I looked it up and it looks really good, so I have just ordered it.

  88. Kris, hope being moved closer to a hospital closer to home helps Rachel, the boys and both lots of parents spend more time with you. I am sending you all much love, and for you special prayers of strength and comfort. the world is on your side Kris .. you have touched the lives of so many xo
    Chris R @deansmum

  89. I cannot even begin to articulate how much of an inspiration you are to me and so many…sending prayers

  90. I’ve been praying constantly for you Kris, and your family. None of us knows what you are really going thru’ at this difficult time. I pray that God fills you with His peace especially, and takes away all pain. Our fourth child, a daughter 24 yrs old, has severe cerebral palsy and it’s been a roller-coaster journey with her at times. But always we’ve known that God knows the beginning and the end and His plan is perfect, despite the pain and suffering. There are many praying all over the world for you right now. I also pray that you can have quality time with Rachel and the boys. xxxxoooo

  91. Kris, there are no words to say except that you are truly iinspirational, you have helped so many people in simular situations as your self, and I am sure that you are headed to even greater things in the next step of your journey, for you and your family we want to send pure love, we are all better people for knowing you as you are, perfect in the eyes of your god. xxx

  92. Love to you and your family. All of you are in my thoughts and prayers.

  93. my thoughts and prayers are with you all.love to you all.

  94. Kristian thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.. I remember you from the sound desk at Shiloh Perth.. My parents were friends of your parents.. I was at KCC with Jeremy.. I pray that God performs a miracle on your life as a witness to all who have followed your story.. Also pray that there is an understanding amongst the followers of your story that God has a plan difficult as it may seem He does.. Never lose faith xo

  95. Hi Kristian I have a very high regard for you.The courage you have shown gives me and others inspiration.

  96. My father fought a very rare form of bladder cancer…diagnosed May 2003 and passed June 2005, 11 days before my 25th birthday. Upon diagnosis they gave him two months tops, and to the disbelief of everyone around him, he lived two years. I will never forget his strength, dignity, grace, and acceptance of his illness. Your story is very touching and inspirational, and reminds me of those two special years I spent with my father. I send many prayers to you, your wife and two children.

    God Bless you.
    Thank you for sharing your story with the world.

    You have helped me.

  97. Kristian, I first heard your story on MMM. Like many I was moved – I am a 35 year old on the Northern Beaches with a wife and two kids aged 3 and 5 so it struck a chord.

    6 weeks ago i had a lot of blood when I went to the toilet plus pains from my stomach. This was the second episode in about 15 months, so spurred on by you I booked a colonoscopy. Well after 2 weeks of worry and tears, I had it at Dee Why this afternoon and.. all clear!

    I’m so relieved but as I was sitting in recovery just 90 minutes ago that relief was tempered by thinking of you and what you have been going through. And thanks too, for making your story public so people like me (who hasn’t been the doc since 2003) actually take action. I have no doubt that in doing so you have literally saved lives and inspired countless others.

    Thank you

  98. read on your twitter wall you got to go home today — thats great news hope u get to stay home and enjoy christmas with your family and eat that yummy food your planning!

  99. i might also add praying hard for a miracle for you!!

  100. So thrilled you’re at home and enjoying family life. Praying that it will continue that way and that God really does work a miracle in your life! Thanks for sharing and you continue to amaze me. God bless,

  101. Thinking of you and your family tonight, as I do so often, You and your family are in my prayers.
    May God himself bless you, and give you strengh.

  102. God bless you, comfort you, encourage you, strengthen you and love you Kristian, Rachel and boys. Sending prayers up for you all.

  103. Dear Kris,

    I’ve been following your story since I saw the video you made for your wife. you are such an inspiration.. Such an amazing husband and father. Your kids and wife have been loved more by you than some people ever will be in their entire life. We are

  104. God bless you and your family, Kristian. May you and Rachel and the boys find some peace in these days to come. I wish I could do more than pray, but it’s what I’m doing, as are all. Love you, brother. Wish I could breathe for you.

  105. So glad to hear that you are home, so very special… miricles do happen, see xxx

  106. Thinking of you and your family daily Kristian. You are an amazing father and husband. I’ve followed your story ever since seeing you on Oprah. I’m amazed by your courage to fight to be with your family. May peace be with you and your family. Sending you a big hug from the states.

  107. Kris – Praying for you and your family, and especially that the Lord fills you with His peace, a peace that only He can give. We all love you. xx

  108. Kris, just heard you are back in hospital tonight , we are thinking of you and praying for the peace you need .. much love to you, Rachel, Cody and Jakob.
    Chris R @deansmum

  109. Dear Kristian.

    I am praying for you and your family and I ask that He gives you courage and strength during this difficult time..

    May the peace of our Lord be with you always.

    God bless you, Kristian.

    Cheryl

  110. Hi Kristian,
    Im constantly checkin in to see if you post anything. Praying for you and never give up!!!!
    Prayers to you and your beautiful family.
    Jody

  111. Kris, I saw you on Oprah last year and I have periodically checked in to see how you are doing (love the WWW). I was so saddened to hear the news when I happened upon this page a couple of days ago. I have been reading your blogs. You may never see this message but I wanted you to know that your family deeply touched me and I am praying for you to find comfort now and whenever the end may come. You have been an inspiration to many. There is truly something spectacular waiting for you out there because God only takes the best. Prayers from NY

  112. God Bless You Kristian.. You have made a difference to this world and you always will…….. 0:~}

  113. Thinking about all of you.

  114. From Kristian’s twitter account

    Kristian Anderson
    Hi everyone, thank you so much for all the support. I have a feeling my time is close and rachel will keep you updated from now on.

    Please pray for his journey home and for the ones he leaves behind.

  115. Kristian – You have fought your battle hard and with every ounce of your strength for you and your precious family. You are amazing and I know God will honour you for this when you return home and are free from pain. Thanks for sharing with, what has become a huge following all around the world. Many people’s lives have been touched for the better, I’m sure, through your brave sharing. Praying hard for you and your lovely wife and boys. God bless you all. xxxx

  116. You and your family are in my prayers.

  117. We are all paying for you and your family. You are a hero for your famiily, and so many of us, please comfort your self in knowing that you have touched so many lives.There is a time and purpose for everyone and everything under heaven …our love and prays go with you all xx

  118. Dear Kristian and Rachel, we all owe you so much for sharing this journey with us. We have learnt so much from you & are grateful for this opportunity. Travel safely Kristian, until we meet again. You have fought the good fight, you have almost finished the race xxxx

  119. Peace, love and strength to you and your family.
    You shine a light of great courage and ever-enduring love Kristian.
    You have changed the lives of many kristian, and have left a legacy within our hearts to be strong, loving and to never give up. I thank you,
    God bless

  120. Please everyone, pray – for Kristian, and his beautiful family.
    He feels it is almost time – go to twitter.com/KrisPA for updates from his amazing wife Rachel..
    I have no words, only love, and thanks…. So many thanks….. I feel so blessed to have shared this journey with you. Thankyou for making our road a little less scary…. Thankyou for revealing the true meaning of love and family…. You have made SUCH a difference Kris Love and light dear friend, love and light ALWAYS…. May God bless your sweet soul, your beautiful family and bring you joyous relief soon. We love you Kris, Rachel, Cody and Jakob – with all my heart, I will continue to pray. xoxox

  121. Hi Kristian, I often check in and see how you are going. I must admit the day i heard you werent doing so well I stopped and prayed that a miracle will come your way for you and your wonderful family to have you on this earth for so much longer. Your in our prayers and we can only hope that your family will gain strength in the much love and support of a nation that you have captured. Much love to your family xoxox

  122. Thoughts and prayers with you, Kristian, Rachel and your beautiful boys, Cody and Jakob. You are teaching us all how to live in dignity with love and filled with light.

  123. Continuing to pray daily for you and yours Kristian. What a wonderful Daddy and husband you are~ you will be constantly with them in spirit too, I know. Ever loving and caring for them. God Bless~

  124. You are in my thoughts and prayers. God Bless you all. xoxo

  125. Kristian, I want you to know that your sharing of your journey has changed me (and probably thousands of other people). I am not a religious person, but when I see photos from the Hubble telescope, it is perfectly clear to me that we are not alone in all this. You are in good hands, safe, and your adventures are far from over. My love, my heart, and my gratitude to you and your very special family.

  126. Have been following you both on twitter. Sending love, prayers and strength from Wellington. Please know how many lives you have touched …. and saved. Thank you so much for sharing your journey with us, until we met again.
    DEB

  127. Dear Kris and Rachel, Cody and Jakob,
    There are so many thoughts and prayers with you all at this time.
    Kris you have fought bravely, it is hard to find the right words,
    but I am pretty sure you have an idea of the amount of love that there is for you, Rachel and the boys. You have touched SO many peoples lives, you are an amazing kind loving man. truly one of the good guys.
    Kris you very rarely leave my thoughts, peace to you, and God Bless
    Chris R xo

  128. Praying that Kristian’s suffering ends soon! That God will look favourably upon him. You are a very brave woman Rachel – you must be exhausted! Praying for peace and contentment for you too, and for Cody and Jakob and other family members. Our love and prayers go out to you. God bless you all! xxxx

  129. Kristian please be assured that the hundreds or even thousands of people who are praying for and thinking of you constantly will continue to pray for Rachel, Cody, Jakob and all your family after you are in heaven. You will all never leave our hearts. With much love and prayers for peace. Helen from CHCH NZ

  130. Hi Kristian. i hope it’s not too late :( i’ll include you in my prayers. If you’ve ever heard of USANA, it’s has helped a lot of people specially the ones with cancer. i hope it helps you too. i really wish for it. Never give up. ‘Cause we won’t give up praying for you too.

  131. Hi Rachel,

    Hang in there you strong woman.I rang votaphone and told them to read ther twitter and fix your phone.They told me they dont have twitter.
    They said for you to call them on Customer Care on 1300 650 410 from any phone and they will fix any problems.Hope this helps.Its the only way I know how to contact you.For any of you that know hoe to twitter , please get this message to Rachel asap.

    Jackie

  132. Hi Rachel,

    Vodophone When in Australia
    Customer service:
    1555 (free from Vodafone mobiles in Australia)
    1300 650 410 (other phones)

    If someone knows what hospital kristian is in or how to contact Rachel and leave a message please pass the information above onto her so she can have some peace with a working phone.
    J

  133. my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I have been following you both on twitter and your courage and strength is inspirational. May peace be with you.

    Prayers from a stanger, Kellie.

  134. A strong embrace to you all from Italy. Love and prayers to you Kristian, great human being, father and husband. I long to be 0.1%& the great person you are. I wish you all the peace you deserve and hugs to your family.

  135. Peace to you and your family. You’ve shown such love and faith and I’m sending love and faith to you. I will never forget you, never stop praying for you and yours. God bless.

  136. Peace be with each of you Dear Family…….May you feel the comfort knowing that your Lord and Savior is holding you close to His heart……
    The Grandma from North Carolina

  137. Merry Christmas!
    I am following your updates on twitter. I hope you know that we all love and pray for peace and comfort for you and your loving family.

    You remind us of how fragile life is, but also how strong the spirit within is.
    Whatever you need to get you through this moment is being sent your way.
    So many people from around the world hold you in our thoughts and hearts.
    Peace and blessings to you all.
    With Love,
    J

  138. So thrilled that you are all together for Christmas Day!! Merry Christmas to you all! Yes, it is a lovely sunny day in Sydney! I pray that you can all have an enjoyable and memorable time together and that Kristian will feel comfortable. Praying for you all on this – Jesus’s birthday! Praise the Lord! xxx

  139. Today I am reflecting my thoughts towards two great people that changed the world in very special ways.
    Happy Birthday Jesus!
    Merry Christmas Kristian!

    Your lives matter to so many and your imprint and essence have, and will be felt all over the world…not because you , one day , returned to your maker……but….
    because you lived!

    Hope you had a lovely day with Rachel,Cody and Jacob and I hope you are comfortable.
    I know that you are surrounded by Love and enveloped in Prayers.
    I wish you a Safe Journey home , when the time comes, and you are called back to your heavenly Father.
    Thankyou for sharing your life with us.
    You and your family have touched my heart forever.

    Much Love,
    J

  140. Kristian, Rachel & Family, As we share Xmas with our family and friends, you are all in our thoughts and prayers today. Stay Strong and Hope.
    Richard & Family

  141. I don’t have any words to say how much love we send to you, especially at this most precious time of the year. You are never far from our thoughts, and always in our prayers. We hope that you’ve had a truly, deeply, peacefully, joyfully, blessed Christmas together, that you’ve been surrounded by music and felt able to praise.
    With much love in Christ,
    Andrea, Phill, William and Daniel Penman.

  142. Dear Kris, glad you got to spend Christmas with Rachel, Cody and Jackob., you were all in my thoughts throughout the day. May you soon find the peace you long for, have so much admiration and love for you, god bless you
    Chris R @deansmum
    xo

  143. As I sat in church on Christmas Eve their was only person on my mind…. you Kristian. I prayed that you would spend Christmas with your family. As I have been away and had no computer access I was so happy to come home today and see that you did indeed do that. With love to you, your wife, boys, and your other family and friends. I am thinking of you all.
    DEB

  144. Thanks Rachel for your updates on twitter. You are an amazing woman – such tenacity and strength in adversity which is such an inspiration for us all. I pray God gives you both a peaceful and blessed night. His timing is perfect! I’m continually praying for you both and your precious family. God bless you all!

  145. All my love and thoughts and prayers from Italy xxx Silvia

  146. Rachel has been updating on twitter. Kris has not woken up since falling asleep last night…she says that Heaven is near.

    Bless you all.

  147. Dear Kris and Rachel,
    Kris you have touched my life and changed the way i look at everything. You are an amazing man, thank you for being who you are. Dear Rachel, I have so much respect and admiration for you, Kris is so fortunate to have had you by his side through this time. May you both find peace and be blessed by God. Kris i know your time is near and you probably won’t see these messages but I feel sure you know how much everyone loves you and your family. Rachel a lot of people are supporting you all, even if from afar.
    love to you both and your sweet boys Cody and Jakob,
    God bless,
    Chris R @deansmum

  148. My prayers are with you Rachel and your beautiful boys and families! I pray that Kristian is at peace and that God is watching over him. Please know Rachel that we are all with you as you spend precious time with Kristian. We continue to be amazed and inspired by you both in your difficult journey. As we enter a new year, may God pour His peace and love into your all. xxxx

  149. Hello it’s funny I found this blog when I saw the beautiful video Kristian made with his boys for Rachel’s birthday on YouTube a year and a bit ago I think. My wife’s name is Rachael as well. She is a cancer survivor having thyroid cancer 3 years ago. Two of her sisters are cancer survivors both having thyroid cancer which the doctors say is not hereditary. Anyway I have follow Kristian’s highs and lows, I have cheered when he got good news and cried when the news wasn’t what he and Rachel prayed for. I have shared this blog with anyone who would listen, the way Kristian types about his feelings good, bad, happy or just tired of the way he was feeling that day has helped me get through some days I’ve been just tired of the normal things in life. About 9 months ago my wife’s mum got sick and we found out it was ovarian cancer in the 3rd stage. My family and my in-laws worlds were send spinning. I know Kristian has helped me and many people see that light in the dark. Many times my mother in-law and I would talk about Kristian and how he was going and also the faith they both shared that god would be there to help them through these hard times. She got a sparkle in her eye when he got good news, which I got to say made me feel like, if we could hold on as well maybe we would get some good news ourselves. But unfortunately my mother in-law passed away in her sleep on the 17th of September 2011 surrounded by her family. She left all of her family knowing she had lived and loved her life with us. So last night with the ringing in of the new year at a new year eve party while most people traded hugs and kisses I held my seven year old daughter while she cried because 2012 was going to be the first year without her nana.. I looked up to the stars and thought of her and how I wish I could take away the pain you must be feeling.. and I prayed
    Thank you for being there when I needed a lift and a cry
    Jason

  150. @ Eleanor Sydney – I couldn’t have said it better!

    Sending you wishes of peace Kris…. pure, perfect, pain free peace. xox

    Rachel….. we’ve never met, but I follow your updates everyday – several times a day – since you joined Kris on Twitter, and have followed Kris’ blog since early last year, when my husband too was diagnosed at age 38, with bowel cancer with mets to the liver.

    What a remarkable pairing you both are – God truly handpicked 2 very special people when he joined you and Kristian together. I am in awe of your strength and courage in the face of it all……. No wife or mum should ever have to go through this. Please know we will continue to send you and your darling boys love, strength and friendship, and always keep you all in our prayers.

    Whilst this journey won’t end the way we all prayed it would, I am so truly grateful to you both for sharing your story – you made those of us walking a very similar road less scared, because we felt like you were walking with us, as we were with you.

    Great big (((HUGS))) to you ALL right now….
    Love from The Lewis Family – Mandy, Robert, Ashton & Holly xoxox

  151. My heart is heavy. I can’t imagine. Blessings to all of you….Thank you Kristin for the lessons on life.

  152. Rachel has tweeted that Kris passed into heaven this morning. Goodbye sweet Kris, God be with you.

  153. RIP Kris xxxx

  154. Kristian & Rachel, you have been such an inspiration to those of us who have lost loved ones. There are no words to describe the loss we feel for you & your children. God bless all of you. XOXOXO

    ~Alison
    Garner, NC USA

  155. Kristen … let there be light … for you and your family the love you have shown the world through sharing your journey, and the sing bird is singing, like he knows the score, and I love you, I love you, I love like no one before, xx we all love you take flight our friend take flight, God is with you all xx

  156. Dear Precious Boy – you are in the presence of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ~Blessed are you! Your family is being prayed for now.

  157. rest in peace kristian. your bravery, strength and courage has and will continue to be an inspiration.

    all my love to your wife and children.

    Stacey, Tasmania, Australia xo

  158. Dear Kristian, to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord, what a blessed reunion you have had with your Saviour. The angels will be rejoicing that you are home.
    Love and prayers to Rachel and the boys… Lord put your loving arms around them for comfort…

  159. God’s angels are singing as one of his has come home. I pray for you Racel and your boys and pray that they realised that God needed there Daddy in heaven to watch over them and you as your personal Angel. lord i pray for comfort for this family now and always

  160. Ring the bells that still can ring…

  161. Much love and thoughts to your wife and boys.

  162. I’m so much ‘feeling’ your pain Rachel as you’ve said goodbye (but not forever!) to your amazing, precious husband, Kristian. He is at peace now, and rejoicing at being in the presence of Jesus! The sadness and pain that is left behind from not having his earthly presence must be enormous. I pray that you can bear some confort in knowing that, in the scheme of eternity, our earthly lives are but a ‘twinkling of an eye’. I pray that God puts His arms around you all and gives you His comfort, love and peace. Kristian’s legacy will live on in a mighty way. He has touched so many lives for the better. We will continue to pray for you Rachel and the boys. You are an awesome woman of God!! with much love and God’s blessing, xxxx

  163. [...] One post that particularly stood out for me (link that) was on the last blog that Kristian posted while he was still alive, entitled “Would the real Reality please stand up?” [...]

  164. “In my perfect innocence, I have walked. And in God I have trusted – I shall not waver. Examine me, God, and test me, scrutinize my intellect and my heart, because my kindness is before your eyes and I have walked in your truth. I wash my hands in purity and circle around your altar, God, and to proclaim in a loud voice, thanksgiving, and to recount all your wondrous deeds. God, I love the shelter of your House and the residence of your glory.
    In my perfect innocence I will walk…redeem me and show me favour. My foot is set on the straight path and in assemblies I will bless The Lord”.

    peace.

  165. Dearest Rachel & Sons

    What a wonderful human being your husband was…… he has truly opened so many eyes to how we should be so grateful and cherish what blessings we have. I know that Kristian is in heaven looking down on you with love and protection. I am certain as your sons’ grow older they will know what a wonderful dad he was. I have you and your family in my prayers for God to give y ou all the strength and courage to carry on especially knowing that God calls home the best (ours is not to question but to believe).

    All our love and prayers Cheryl & Family (Sydneym, Australia)

  166. Hi Rachel and family

    I have just read Kristian’s blog and realised that on the day he wrote this post, my beloved father passed away from the same illness as Kristian. Like Kristian, my father was a courageous, selfless person who was more concerned about leaving us behind than fearing his own mortality. These great men that have touched our lives have blessed us with the strength to accept what is handed to us. I know the days are hard to get through but please know that you are not alone and he is watching over your beautiful sons and yourself.

    When you are sad just remember, watching your loved one suffer is harder than not having them here at all.

    Thinking of you
    Candice

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