I’ve been thinking for a while now that I should really post something to let people know how my boys and I are doing. So, here I am.
It has almost been five months. Five whole months. I honestly thought things would be getting easy by now. Particularly because the first days and weeks were so, so hard. But the truth be known, it’s still just as difficult now as it was back when I first lost him. The reality has truly set in. I miss his voice, his smile, his compliments to me in the mornings once I’d dressed for work, his companionship, his hugs, his spaghetti bolognese, his fettucini and prawns, his laugh, sharing stories of the boys with him. I miss watching him be a Daddy. I hate doing this alone. I don’t know why he had to go. I know God has it all under control, but it doesn’t make the day to day business of living any easier.
Cody and Jakob are doing incredibly well. They miss their Daddy all the time, but they are so resilient. Cody loves school and is growing so tall. Jakob is such a funny little guy with such a sensitive streak. I love them so much and am so, so proud of them every day. They are the reason I keep putting one foot in front of the other, and try to keep functioning. They ask a lot of questions about Daddy – why he had to die, what is he doing in heaven but they have bounced back amazingly well. I am so grateful for all the prayers people are praying for us, as I think that is the reason my little chickens are doing so well. Thank you so much.
It is so exciting to have had Kristian’s blogs published. I am thrilled to have in hard copy his journey, which I’ll be able to give to the boys to read when they are older and ask what it was like for Daddy when he was sick. They will be able to read in black and white about how hard he fought for them. How his faith in Jesus never once wavered.
Thank you for praying for us. Thank you for thinking of us. Thank you for believing we will be ok.