A trip to “the bank”.
So with Chemotherapy confirmed Rachel and I have to make a decision on some ‘family planning’ issues.
Meaning, Rachel wants more kids and there’s a 50/50 chance the chemo will knock my little swimmers out of action. It’s too great a risk to take for us so we’re referred to IVF Australia and organise a ‘deposit’.
Now, I have seen this sort of thing in movies and heard stories about it but nothing prepared me for what I was about to experience. We rock up to this unassuming little building on Pacific Highway on a Saturday morning, en route to my Nan’s 90th birthday party no less, and I head inside. Rach and the boys wait in the car. Up to the first floor and there’s only women at reception.
Great. As if this wasn’t already awkward enough for me.
Fill in all the forms, permissions, power of attorney etc if something happens to me and then I am introduced to the scientist… who happens to be a not un-attractive Asian woman about my age. It just gets better.
So we fill in some more forms and the terminology on these forms is making me blush a bit but hey, it’s for a scientist, right? It’s all for science. The camera up the ass and now this…. all for science. Can someone nominate me for a Nobel prize in physiology or medicine? Geez, if Obama can get the peace prize then surely I can get some kind of concession here?
Anyway, Miss Asian Scientist leads me to my cubicle and in I go. Based on what I have been told, I am expecting a pile of porno mags, but no. The digital age has come to sperm banking and there’s not a magazine in sight. Instead there stands a pearly white Samsung LCD monitor, all neatly cabled and connected to an a/v socket in the wall. Quality installation. Out of curiosity I press the power button. Maybe the Weather Channel…. MTV?
Just what you’d expect. Off with the TV.
Anyway, you know the rest. I did what I had to do and got out of there quick smart. I was a little anxious about returning. The doc said I’d need to go 3 times to get enough stems to be viable…. the thought of doing it twice over was a little unsettling. But not to worry, the Scientist called me back a few hours later and said that she normally likes to receive 20 stems for a viable freeze and I gave her 19. So I don’t need to go back. Woohoo!
I’ve told Rachel she better not even look at my groin or she could get pregnant. Maybe those Superman undies weren’t so ostentatious after all?
Anyway….. as you were.