False start

I was supposed to start chemotherapy today. It was to be a long day of education, inserting the picc line (like a permanent drip line for the drugs) in my arm and then the first round of drugs. It turns out the picc line would be a real hassle from my point of view. Constant need to change the dressing, can’t go swimming at all (it’s warm here now and the beach is so beautiful in the mornings) but the biggest issue for me was that there was so much external… guff… that it would be quite difficult to be around the boys and not have an accident. All these bits and pieces hanging off my arm would have been a huge dangling carrot for Jakob, who loves to play with anything and everything. He doesn’t understand ‘no’ yet so the only way to keep the picc line safe would be by seriously limiting my contact with him…. not gonna happen.

So we opted for the ‘port’ option, which is basically a silicon injection pad inserted under my skin and a catheter that goes directly to the vein required for the chemotherapy. It requires a brief surgery to have it ‘installed’ but after that it can stay there for years. I can function totally as per normal (if indeed I ever was “normal”) and is really low maintenance in comparison to the picc. It’s also totally invisible to the untrained eye which will mean Cody won’t notice any weird cables coming out of Daddy’s arm. Another plus.

I’m a little bummed as I really wanted to get this thing underway but ultimately this will make the chemo easier to deal with and so I will wait. The other bummer is that it will change my on/off cycle by a week. My sister-in-law is coming over for a week in November on what would have been my ‘on’ week. She’s a doctor and I was kinda looking forward to her coming to the oncology ward with me to check it all out. Anyway… it’s ok I guess. Met another doctor today, too. The vascular surgeon who will implant the port. He makes about the 7th doctor in 2 weeks.

My mother is here for a week so we have someone to look after the kids tonight. It’s pretty rare that we get to go out at night these days without the kids so we’re going to see a movie. I know it’s not the most romantic of evenings and it’s cheap-ass-tuesday so it will likely be packed… but, for me, anywhere alone with Rach is pretty special. It will also be nice to go out and forget about things for a couple of hours.

Anything to feel normal again.

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~ by Kristian Anderson on October 20, 2009.

One Response to “False start”

  1. Kristian… I haven’t met you… but I consider your wife a dear friend of mine… so I like to think of you the same… I read your comments.. I laughed out loud.. and cried as well.. I am thinking of you and Rachel – and your boys – and saying prayers for you all… You WILL get through this – and be a stronger man for it…

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