The Stalker

Death has been shadowing me the last few weeks.

I see him, not in my mind’s eye… not in a vision… but with my eyes open, standing in my doorway at night. He just stares, silently, and doesn’t move. He looks like you might imagine… a Death Eater from Harry Potter… a Ring Wraith from Lord of the Rings…. or as the typical heavy metal album or biker tattoo might depict him. Or a combination of all of them.

I’m sure you’re hearing the sound of marbles rolling around on the floor…. but I know what I see.

My markers are rising again.

My CA19.9’s are staying put around the 11-12 mark but my CEA’s have risen each blood test for the past 4 weeks.

158 –> 178 –> 184 –> 209… they’re trending upwards again. Of course there could be a whole bunch of reasons why. Maybe the recent bout of shingles has had something to do with it. They’re still hanging around and are still quite painful. Maybe my body just can’t fight them both.

My body…. aches. Every day. It burns. It itches. It hurts.

The one thing that can bring all the burning and itching under control, the dexamphetamine, will likely destroy any sanity I have left if I take it in the doses needed to suppress the skin inflammation caused by the Erbitux. It will also likely destroy my family in the process by turning me into a permanent Mr. Hyde, from David Banner into the not-so-incredible Hulk…. so it’s not an option.

And every night… Death comes to my doorway and stares at me. I know he’s not allowed any closer than the doorway to our room but it still pisses me off that he’s in my house at all.

And I’m growing so weary of fighting….

Fighting my illness.

Fighting the side effects.

Fighting stupid, arrogant Christians who tell me I’m doing “jack-all for the kingdom of God”.

Fighting the government to release Erbitux onto the PBS.

Fighting my own inner demons.

So tired.

“I’m not gonna write about the way things have been
‘Cause lately they haven’t been so great.
I keep falling down, I keep giving in… I’m scared this is my fate.
If this is all that life would be, if this is all there was for me
I would not go on.

I’m not gonna lie about feeling fine and knowing everything’s okay.
I’ve just got to believe that this hope inside will lead me to a better place.
With every tear that I cry I cling to the hope that will not die
He won’t leave me here.

I will not lay down…. this won’t be my end.”

Advertisements

~ by Kristian Anderson on June 9, 2011.

72 Responses to “The Stalker”

  1. It would be so easy for me to say “Don’t give up, keep on fighting” but I will not. I have seen friends family in the same place you are at and it is terrifying and soul destroying to both you and those around you. I don’t know what the right thing to say actually is or if there truly is a right thing to say at this point, but please know that there are people thinking of you and hoping for permanent remission. You and your family are often in my thoughts and I know I am not the only one.

  2. Dear Merciful God,
    Be with Kristian……

  3. I pray for you, in your dark times, I will say a prayer for you at mass on Sunday. God be with you, I am moved by your bravery and resolve, do not give up on hope.

    Alan

  4. Hi Kristian. I read your comments out to my husband and he says he knows where you are coming from. His markers have been between 58 and 61 the last 2 months since he has been on erbitux. He has just come out of hospital after having another 5 litres of fluid drained from his peritonium (thats after 6.5 litres 3 weeks ago). He said everytime he is unwell or goes to hospital it affects his confidence and thoughts like you are having creep in. I wonder if we had a crystal ball would we still fight the fight. At least he is still with us and has a new granddaughter for us to visit in Adelaide next week along with her 14 month old brother. Take care and I hope and pray things will improve for you soon.
    Regards
    Gail

  5. ‘Fighting stupid, arrogant Christians who tell me I’m doing “jack-all for the kingdom of God”.’

    I don’t understand this. Your faith and the strength it gives you comes through so clearly in your writing. It’s a beautiful thing and an inspiration to believers as well as providing insight for non-believers. If that isn’t doing something for the kingdom of God, then I don’t know what is.

    it’s often said that criticisms reveal more about the speaker than about the subject and, in my opinion, perhaps this is the case here. The people who say you are doing jack-all may, indeed, be doing jack-all themselves.

    If you can, let these criticisms go as they appear to have very little to do with you. And keep releasing your frustrations here too, if you need to lighten your burden. Writing about worries and fears helps your brain to process and deal with them and helps us to know what to pray for. 🙂

  6. I’ve seen him too Kristian, you’re not mad.

    We rebuke him in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, may he be bound and removed in Jesus mighty name. He has no share in your inheritance and no place in your home (Nehemiah 2:20). May you be covered by the blood of Christ by which you will overcome (Revelation 12:11). May you know the peace of Christ, which transcends all understanding (Philippians 4:7). May He be your refuge and your fortress, your God in whom you trust (Psalm 91:2).

    God bless you my friend, keeping fighting, keep hoping, keep trusting.

  7. Hey there! This Christian thinks you’re doing just fine, doing what you need to do … and who gave any of us the right to judge? Doesn’t make dealing with the dumb ones any easier I guess … but know that you’ve got others out there praying for your complete healing 🙂

  8. Dear Chris it has been sometime since I have visited your site and I so hear your pain Jesus loves your honesty he already knows what you think and how you feel. I also have been let down badly by my brothers & sisters but this one thing I know he will never let you down.

    Your circumstances may be horrific your energy at its lowest level ever but I know my God and he loves you Chris there is nothing in this world that can separate you from the love of God in Christ Jesus it envelopes you like a cloud even when you dont feel it , it surrounds with a protective wall of love even though you dont see it or sense it.

    Your life is made up of more than these moments of pain we are just passing through Chris, just passing through this life moving through to where we belong where the Lion lays down with the Lamb, the streets paved in Gold , the gates that will open for you are pearl and your mansion awaits…………..Bless you mightily Chris we are thinking and praying for you my friend Kia Kaha love in Christ Jesus Maria Emily and family XX

  9. This post breaks my heart. But it also tells me something. You shouldn’t give up. You shouldn’t pretend you’re fine. You should be angry. You should be tired. You should be honest. But you shouldn’t give up.

    It’s easy for me to try and say things when I’m healthy. But each time you write down what you feel it helps me appreciate life a little more. I suffer from depression and often things get so bad that I want to end that precious gift, life. Then I read your latest post and the fact that you keep fighting in the face of this monstrous adversity makes me realize how selfish I am in that thinking. You have EVERY reason to give up, but you don’t. Ever. And you shouldn’t.

    Because despite what those stupid, arrogant Christians say, you are single-handedly doing more for God’s kingdom than most prominent Christians do together. Just keep your head up.

    • Depression is a strange thing. It is a word that is given because Doctors don’t have the time to sit and spend time with you finding out WHAT CAUSES IT. And generally medication follows. They say its the brain chemistry. But having experienced this debilitating condition for 20 or more years I have done my own research. Whether this is any help to you or not….Candida Albicans or chronic systemic candidisis is worth looking up. Candida feeds off yeasts and sugars. Apparently the by product is a poision acetaldehyde- which goes to the brain through the blood stream. I have stopped all foods that cause this. Did you know there is yeast in potato chips. Secondly – hormonal treatment from a specalist (bio identical hormones) got rid of a number of symptoms. My depression has entirely gone after all this time. Prayer is the key. This leads you to those answers, those articles you need to read, that specalist you should see. The book I read was It could be allergy and it can be cured – Phillip Alexander, page 54.
      Vicki

  10. I’m heartbroken at this post. I can ‘hear’ how tired you are. I can’t imagine how you and your wife are feeling right now. I, of course, can’t know what’s next. But I want so badly for this story, this family, to get its happy ending.

  11. Praying for you in the US.

  12. My dear friend, we all hear your weariness. We all hear your fear. My suggestion is to take a day off from the fight. We all need a break now and again. Rent a bunch of silly movies, comedies, even cartoons just so you can also hear the kids laughing with you…and just sit there for an entire day LAUGHING!! Have someone get you a children’s joke book, and read them to the boys. Have the boys tell you jokes! Just laugh!! Laughter is, after all, the best medicine! And those damned cancer cells will say, “What the hell?!?” and won’t know what to think because the fear that is feeding them will be gone! Make popcorn, ice cream sundaes or banana splits, have a food fight with the kids! Be completely whacky for one whole day…and let the light shine back into your life! Then (hopefully) you shall be rejuvenated and ready to put your battle armour on once again and tell cancer where it can go!

    I’m praying for you…we are all praying for you…and we all love you! Feel the love, Kristian! Soak it up! Let it lift you higher!

  13. Eph. 6:10-18… Kristian, put on the full armour of God, daily, and especially before you go to bed each night. Remember, Jesus said “I have come that you may have life and have it abundantly”. You don’t have to live with death in your home. Ask Jesus to boot him out the door TODAY! We’ll be praying for your full healing and for deliverance from Satan’s taunts while you await that full healing. Bless you, Kristian, just by sharing your story you’re doing your bit for God’s kingdom. May He surround you with loving, supportive and encouraging disciples as He guides you through this battle.

  14. I dont think I can say anything to make you feel better…just be ok…just be…just know that many people are praying for you!!!!

  15. I will never presume to advise you what to think, or what to feel, or what to believe. I will only say that I will be here to listen.

  16. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Cancer is trench warfare and its ugly and some days things just don’t feel like they are going in the right direction. Tides turn, support arrives and things improve…and you are doing everything in your power to defeat this dreadful foe. My thoughts and prayers are with you and I hope for good news soon.

  17. Crying for you as I read this. Grieving with you for all that cancer has taken from you. Hoping and praying for some relief for you and Rach and the boys. You are sacred. You are loved. You are His. xxx

  18. Kristian,
    I have never met you in person, but we shared that lovely day in December with Ms. Winfrey in Aussie. I think of you and your family so often. Thousands of others are doing the same thing…all sending prayers and positive vibes your way.

    The way you described death, it made me think of a vampire. However, as we know vampires cannot go through you doorway unless you invite them in. From what I know of you, there is no way you are inviting death in. Keep it at bay and ignore it. Do not give it the strength it strives on.

    Things can change so quickly in life. Miracles do happen. We know this. You are down now, but this can and will quickly change.

    Be well,

    Meghan

  19. Kia kaha, aroha, Glennie xx

  20. just remember that you have the support and prayers of so many people even ones you haven’t met. just know that even when it seems like you may be down and out that you’re not.

  21. Keep fighting. It is so appreciated with your media coverage to get erbitux on the PBS. Come on Julia and Wayne, sign the paper and save Australian lives. Is surgery an option for you to remove your tumours? Sarah

  22. I read your post this morning and felt your pain like a hard knot in my chest all day. Oh if my feeling your pain could help lessen it for you. That is my fervent wish, and, I’m certain, the wish of everyone following you here.

  23. I can’t really think of anything to say that is meaningful or comforting…but I know you are a very special man with gorgeous children and a beautiful wife. HUG them tight today.

  24. Cancer is not your fate. You create your own fate. Today, someone suffers more than you. (Hard to believe. I know!) Think of that person and take up their suffering. If only for a moment, you will find relief. Increase your medication if you need to. Your family will understand. No matter who you become – you are loved.

    • Sorry, but this comment makes me frustrated!!! I’m pretty sure this isn’t helpful at all. If you read the original post you would realize that Kristian is barely able to cope with his own suffering, let alone taking on the burden of those worse off’.
      Acknowledging someone else’s pain doesn’t make it better for him, do you think that’s how you’d feel if you had cancer? Pretty sure after a few months on chemo other people’s pain wouldn’t be on your mind so much.
      Pain is relative. Regardless of how others suffer, a person in pain is a person in pain.

      • Cancer is not your fate. You create your own fate. Today, someone suffers more than you. (Hard to believe. I know!) Think of that person and take up their suffering. If only for a moment, you will find relief. Increase your medication if you need to. Your family will understand. No matter who you become – you are loved.

        I will leave it to Kristian to decide whether or not my comments are helpful.
        My intent was to offer some method of finding a moment of emotional peace.
        I do not suffer from disease or physical pain as Kristian does. I do experience great emotional pain as I care for my 82 year old mother afflicted with Parkinson’s Disease. I am her sole caregiver and the task has taken over my life for over three years. I watch her suffer as she becomes more and more physically and mentally disabled. When I become overwhelmed, angry, and resentful I stop myself by trying to feel her pain and her loss. Letting go of my own pain. Sometimes it doesn’t work. Sometimes I find a new sense of gratitude. If only for a moment.

        My comments came from a place of wanting to comfort someone in pain. Perhaps I am naive. My father died over 20 years ago from colon cancer. I think I was just wanting to reach out to another father (Kristian), to let him know I hear him. I do apologize if my comments were offensive to you or hurtful to Kristian.

  25. Kristain-
    Please know that I, like so many others, are praying for you. Praying for your strength, sanity and your precious family. Peace be with you, Kristain.

  26. We pray for you, your wife and your two boys. May God make you whole!

  27. Please do not stop fighting, you are an inspiration to so many people. Continuing to pray for you.

  28. Pray peace be with you Kristain. We will pray for you!

  29. With tears running down my face i am before the throne of Grace beseeching our Saviour for you Kristian… I feel your pain, and may HIS love be evident to your and your beautiful family.

  30. I wish I had words, but i don’t. I am praying for you and your sweet family – may you find those moments of peace that you need, may you feel His love and the love of those who care and pray for you and your sweet family – may you not feel so alone, may you find strength in this battle that you are fighting and may your soul get some rest tonight.

    My thoughts and prayers continue to be with you and your family on a daily basis – when you don’t feel like you can fight know there are so many willing to “fight” for you in the one true way we can – through prayer.

  31. Moses’ arms soon became so tired he could no longer hold them up. So Aaron and Hur found a stone for him to sit on. Then they stood on each side of Moses, holding up his hands. So his hands held steady until sunset. As a result, Joshua overwhelmed the army of Amalek in battle. Exodus 17:12,13.

    Continuing to “hold up your hands” Kris.

  32. Dear Kristian, Thank you for sharing your journey so honestly Only someone else who is fighting the same battle can fully understand your struggle. I am so glad that you have our faithful God and Saviour to cling to in your time of need. We all want to know the ‘Why” and the ‘How can this bring glory to God’, but those answers don’t come so easily, perhaps not even when we see Him face to face. You show great courage in refusing the dex to spare your family. Your love for Rachel and the boys shines in all you say. May our heavenly Father continue to give you the strength to go on. With love,
    Ineke Jones.

  33. No one asked you to be Atlas, but here you stand with the weight of so much on your shoulders…your own pain, that of your wife, your children’s..and countless others around the world who through their sympathies encourage you to carry on as a hero to them all…
    You have every right to tell them to ” &*(^% -off”, and no one should tell you otherwise.
    Whether you decide to give up, or fight on…the decision must be yours alone.
    As long as you feel yourself being dragged by uninvited and unseen forces towards a place you don’t want to go you will continue to feel helpless and beaten.

    You must be very close to winning the battle, because that is when things seem the darkest.
    Jesus himself cried out to God, ” Why have You abandoned Me?”

    You are in good company, Kristian.

  34. I read this post with a very heavy heart. I feel so sad on your behalf that the meds are not working. It is painful listening to you talk about your ‘markers’. I’m so sorry.
    Be strong. You are in all our thoughts and you touch many lives with your brave words.
    x jo

  35. Kristian…You mentioned in a post you are having difficulty having conversations with God, I will for you. I will pray for you daily. x x x

  36. You are in my thoughts and in my prayers, thank you for being such an inspiration in my life.
    Adrienne from South Africa

  37. Could the stalker just be an angel dressed as a dark heavy biker dude standing at your door to scare the cr#p out of the cancer so you can rest well to get well?
    I dont think you are loosing your marbles.
    I think you are a marvelous [yet exhausted] human being in touch with all your feelings, fears and emotions and I wish I had words to comfort you but I feel inadequate to do so.
    If our prayers and love for you and your family can restore your health then know you have them every day and know that we all care for you and want your wellness asap.
    Thankyou for your honesty and for letting us in.
    May you feel comfort and love from all of us that read your postings.I feel humbled.

  38. Hi Kristian,

    Perhaps the Angel of Death is stalking you to tell you that you need to let go… let go of your ego that prevents you to seek help from other places, let go of your mind that believes that the medical doctors have all the answers, let go of your ignorance that refuses to accept that there could be a better way…

    Here is a video on YouTube – “Dying to Have Known” that shows that there is an answer to the quest that you are on… Knowledge is the key to your quest – go to Amazon.com to order the book written by Charlotte Gerson, the daughter of the founder, that talks about the Gerson Therapy.

    Blessings!!

  39. Could all froot loops please not comment.

    Sending good thoughts to you.Hope you can find happiness in the simplest things like watching your boys each day .

  40. Kristian,

    I think you are amazing and any one of those people who leave stupid comments about not doing anything for the Kingdom of God or how you should do x, y or z wouldn’t last even a day with your burden. Praying for you. xo

  41. I sit here today hoping and praying that the Canucks will win the Stanley Cup tonight in my hometown of Vancouver, BC but after reading your latest post I realize that no matter what happens we will all carry on with our lives. It isn’t that easy when you and many others are hoping and praying that they will find a cure for whatever they are facing and dealing with on a daily basis and the toll it takes on everyone involved. I hope you can find the strength to feed you faith and pray that your fears will starve to death, I wish you a peaceful sleep and sweet dreams. Keep fighting Kristian, you have come too far and have so much to live for to give up now. Your blog helps me to keep everything in perspective, life is about family and friends that care for us no matter what, not so much about a hockey game, for that I am forever grateful to you.

  42. You’re doing more than you could ever imagine for the Kingdom of God

  43. Dig in Kristian. You probably don’t realise just what an inspiration you are to many people. I have 2 young kids and I of course would hate to be in your situation. But every time I am having a bad, day, a stressful day, a tired day, I just think of your fight and it puts everything into perspective. It makes me a more tolerant, more appreciative, person. That’s the effect your love for your family and your fight has on complete strangers. I’m not religious and I don’t pray but I do wish and hope. Good luck in your fight. You deserve every little bit of happiness your boys and wife bring you. Keep on going – you can do it!

  44. Dear Kristian. I discussed your post with a friend of mine. He has colorectal cancer. He has a daughter who is not yet 2 and a son who is 4. He says he feels the same way and he too is sick of fighting. From the sidelines, all I can do is pray for strength for both of you crusaders and that the treatment for both of you is effective. Kindest regards.

  45. love your honesty, Kristian. You are so brave! Wish I could say or do something to make it better, but I can’t. All I know is that God is in control even if everything looks so wrong. Love and blessings from NZ

  46. Kristian, there is nothing that anyone can say to make your situation better. Hang in there, though. Grasp all those thousands of hands that are reaching out to you as your story has reached so many hearts. Let us carry you, on your journey, knowing there is ONE who will ALWAYS be there for you and your family.

  47. You are Kristian Anderson, you are the light in so many people’s lives. You have touched many with your words and you are in our hearts and thoughts.

  48. My thoughts are with you always.

  49. Hi Kristian – I found your site after googling Erbitux and have slowly read back from the start of your posts. On February 4 this year my husband was diagnosed with advanced colon cancer. His has gone to his Omentum & Peritoneal lining. He is young like you – 33, we have been married 12 years this year and we have a gorgeous almost 4 year old daughter. We had a scare early on when his bowel perforated & he ended up with Peritonitis which nearly killed him. He beat it but he has a stoma now too. He is on FOLFOX/Avastin right now but has seen 3 weeks in a row of rising CEAs so our Oncologist has flagged Erbitux as an option for him. Its been at once comforting to read your posts because I see we are not alone, but also terrible that we have been to many of the same dark places. Keep strong. Keep fighting. Sending strength and love to your family too.

  50. Hey there Kristian.

    How are you feeling today? How are those markers going? Any new news? I have been thinking of you lately and hoping that you are winning your fight.

    I understand your feelings, having been there myself during my cancer battles too. I thankfully, never looked up at the door to see if death was there waiting for me – perhaps I had some good drugs that didn’t allow me to wake long enough to look? lol. One of the drugs they had me on to deal with the anxiety etc was Ativan. I don’t know what its normally for or why they gave it to me, but i was told to put it under my tongue when I felt a meltdown coming on or if my husband noticed it – he was to make sure i got it too. Might be worthwhile checking if its something they can give you to?

    Its okay to feel lost. Its okay to fee alone. Its especially okay to feel angry and pissed off with everyone and everything. Hell, you have been put through the wringer in a major way. Rachel and the boys will be there no matter what. Yes its hard for them too, but they would rather go through this, then the alternative.

    I hate that you are going through this. I hope that you are able to speak to therapists who understand your emotions – the Cancer Council can help sometimes – if you get the right person on the end of the phone. I am sure you are probably part of a cancer group online – those people know how you are feeling and totally understand.

    We aren’t asking you to fight, to stay with us, to flick Death aside – we are only asking you take one step forward, and then perhaps another, and another. I was so close to giving up last December. But I am still here. I am well. I have many a bad day, but i have so many good days too.

    So much love and positive energy being sent your way. xxxxxx

  51. Dear Christian, I am so, honestly, so sorry for what you are feeling. You may not believe it, but you are one of the very bravest people I have ever encountered. Since my last post, I found out my dad has inoperable cancer and he is going for chemo treatment #2 tomorrow. Until I found your site and communicated with you months ago, I never would have been able to face this with my dad. I was too scared of the word ‘cancer’. But you have helped me to help him, you have given me strength. You planted the seeds as an example that cancer is a disease to be fought. I never would have been able to accept my dad’s diagnosis if I hadn’t read about you first. I want so badly for you to go into remission. I want so badly for you to get a break with all of your suffering. I am sending much love your way. Mary K.

  52. I haven’t checked in here for a while as I’ve been wrapped up in my own life, so when I did and read above, I felt guilty. Your strength inspires me, your pain saddens me, but most of all, your abilty to say it like it is, is truely amazing. I think of you and hope you feel better, soon. Take care. Tracie

  53. May I suggest you tell this Death dude to f&@k off, that he’s really not welcome! Now is not the time for niceties.

  54. You’ve had a win mate.. i just read that the Government is putting Erbitux on the PBS from September.. I hope it’s the first win of many for you into the future.

    keep strong…

  55. THANK YOU Kristian for your fight to have Erbitux cheaper for cancer sufferers. You have probably saved many lives, as now many more will be able to afford this drug.
    You have done a great thing in fighting for this even though have been feeling really bad yourself – very selfless and courageous…May God bless you abundantly

  56. Hi Kristian,
    If you , Many Hands and prayers can get Erbitux on the PBS then your other prayers will be answered.Thank you for the attention and voice you gave Erbitux.
    Rest soundly my friend and know that all things are possible and leave the rest to God, you medical team and us that pray for your recovery. When you rest – we will pray, hope,wish and hold the vision steady for your perfect health.Many Hand and many hearts hold you in our thoughts.
    Sleep peacefully and get well.

  57. You know, I keep reading your blog since your famous Happy Birthday video, that’s how I learnt about you. I’m not religious at all, but you are in minds every day, I keep checking your site for new posts hoping you feel better and more optimistic. You are a great fighter, I really hope you will be healthy again. Wishing you strength.

  58. Y habre visto el video del cumpleaños de Rachel no cientos sino miles de veces y sigue mi lagrima callendo desde mi ojo…ten fuerzas, ten valor y continua adelante, no por tu familia, no por tus amigos sino por ti porque la vida no debe ser tan injusta. te mando todo mi cariño y mi apoyo desde España!!

  59. Yay for the ERbitux win – still praying for yours, you’re closer to it now!

  60. All I can say is that you inspire me through your battle. Inspire me to be a better wife, friend, person. I hope knowing that you have made an impact on so many can provide you a comfort, solice in this time. I can’t lie and say that I can understand what you are going through, or that of your family; all I can say is that I pray the Lord give you strength and mercy. I wish you all well. Beth

  61. I am sending you every ounce of strength I have. I hope you can feel it all the way from New York, USA. All my prayers to you and your family. I wish for you healing and freedom from pain. Please God hear my prayer.

  62. Nothing happens in God’s world by mistake. No idea why this is happening to you. Stay faithful and God will do what is best for you and your family.

  63. I keep praying for you – keep on keeping on.
    The Grandma from North Carolina with non hodgkins lymphoma

  64. Sending you hugs from Vancouver, Canada and energy to help you fight the fight. Know that so many people are cheering you on … your story is inspirational and on those dark days when you are so tired, that is the thing to remember.

  65. I recently read an amazing book that may help you and your family. It is called “Gracyn’s Song”. It is about a family whose daughter, Gracyn, went through a very difficult battle with heart disease. The author is Gracyn DenBesten’s father and her. They are a Christian family from Orlando, Florida. I just heard your story on Oprah and was moved to check in to see how you are doing. That is when I saw your blog. I don’t typically respond to things like this, but i felt very compelled to share the book with you. I believe it will be an inspiration to you and your wife. My heart is both grieved and hopeful for you. If I, a stranger, feel such a great love for you; how much more is our heavenly father concerned with you and the well-being of your family. I will continue to lift you and your family up in prayer.

  66. Just love Kristian. Love.

    Love your kids, love your family. Love all of those that reach out to you.

    We don’t know each other – we are worlds apart, but I see how you feel. I know how you feel. Capture peace. xoxo, Rosemary

  67. …First of all, please excuse my ‘not-so-perfect’ english.
    I frequently read your blog, but since this moment I wasn’t so strong to write. I know that my words can’t do anything, but since the feeling comes from heart, I want it to reach you.
    So like a silent and positive presence, or a prayer, here I am. And the feeling would cross the distance.
    Letizia,
    from Italy

  68. You don’t know me but when I prayed for you I had a picture from the Bible in my head and thought I should share it with you. It was the picture of Moses whose arms got tired and he needed his friends to hold his arms up so that Israel won the battle they are fighting. I am sure you have many friends who are holding up your arms. You are not alone in your battle. God bless, Hayley

  69. Dig deep mate…you know you can, rise to the ocassion, draw on all your strengths and get back in the game. Stay focussed and be a team player…you’ve got a great team around you. Thinking of you

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: