Please SIR, can I have some more?

It’s been a crazy few weeks.

I’ve been in three countries, shot a music documentary with one of my favourite bands, made new friends and had a whole bunch of medical tests.

It was Jakob’s birthday this week, too. He turned three. I was diagnosed when he was just one year old so he’s only ever really known Daddy to be “a bit sick”. Seeing his face light up as he opened his presents reminded me why this fight is so important. You can do whatever you want to my body, to my mind… but you will not see me give up this fight. For the sake of my children, if nothing else.

My cancer markers have been climbing steadily since we came home from our holiday, that upward trend we so don’t like to see, so a PET scan was ordered. My first since diagnosis. It doesn’t get more detailed than a PET scan and I was happy to have it done so we could find out what was going on inside of me.

My biggest fear was that the cancer had jumped to another part of my body.

After an anxious weekend awaiting the results it was determined that, thankfully, we’re still only dealing with the liver tumours. There are four of them that showed up black on the scan. Black indicating blood flow and activity. Two at the top of my liver and two at the bottom. Basically, they’re really misbehaving. There was also one small tumour that appears to have ‘dropped’ from my liver to my Psoas muscle, which is located in the pelvis. The doctors seem to think this will be easily eradicated by some targeted radiation, so it will be monitored.

And that’s where I’m headed again….radiation… SIR Therapy.

I was hoping it would still be an option as I had heard it could be a once-only type of thing due to it’s potency, and as you may or may not recall I had a pretty hefty dose of it in November 2010. Thankfully the team at St. Vincent’s Hospital here in Sydney were a) very happy to see me and b) in agreement that it would be possible and we should get it underway as soon as possible. I’m scheduled to go in next Thursday for the ‘work-up procedure’, which is where they do a test run to make sure the blood flow is all correct and not leaking anywhere outside of the liver. Then, if that’s all ok it’s the real procedure a week later.

I know it’s probably going to sound odd but driving home from the hospital after being given the green light was not without it’s emotional moments.

I was elated.

I had walked in that day not knowing if I was going to be able to have another shot and within one hour was driving home knowing that not only was I going to get another chance but that the Doctor’s believed the outcome could be very effective at knocking off these problem tumours. It was really quite overhwleming…. I have another chance.

Another chance to fight.

Another chance to live.

Another chance to celebrate the birth of my children.

Another chance to see another Christmas.

Another chance to wake up in the morning and see my beautiful wife laying next to me.

Another chance to be reminded of the grace of God that covers me daily as I walk through this seemingly endless valley. The neon lights that are His promises to me, lighting up the darkness, showing me the way forward when all other light fails.

This is surely the hardest, most intense set of circumstances I have ever faced. It’s been two years now of non-stop treatment and I am weary. It’s taking it’s toll on me and my family. It’s war, make no mistake. But I am ready for it. I have been to this particular battlefield before. I know the lay of the land and I have a strategy that is proven and effective. Smith and Anderson will face off here once again. I’ll take a beating, but I know Smith is going to come off second best.

I was made for this.

Life is calling loudly to me. It’s not the way I imagined my life would pan out but I’m here, armoured up and ready to roll.

Just you try and stop me.

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~ by Kristian Anderson on September 17, 2011.

27 Responses to “Please SIR, can I have some more?”

  1. Bravo… you are fighting a good battle, kind sir. I pray for you Kristian. I am, indeed, a prayer warrior for you. Happy Birthday to your precious boy~

  2. Kristian, yay to getting the SIR again. So they are targetting it to the liver and not the muscle? is that right? That is awesome news. Do they have any plans for what will come after that – you know, knock it to pieces and then give it the final blow with something?

    Congratulations to your little boy Jakob on turning three. What a wonderful age huh! I get where you are coming from thinking they have only known you as sick – but I ask my two smaller girls what they remember (they are now three and four but were one and two at diagnosis) and they don’t remember anything. They say stuff like “the dr is going to cut off my booby if i get sick” but that’s just because they really don’t understand it all yet, in another year I will probably sit them both down and explain it in more detail. Its funny how birthdays and christmas’ become that much more important.

    So, in two weeks the fight begins. We are all sitting in your corner with you. There is no way you can throw in the towel – its just not going to happen. I only feel positiveness when I think of what you have ahead – I think its really going to work this time. Really try hard to keep that positiveness in you. You will win.

    My prayers to Rach and the boys and especially to you xxxxxxxx

    • SIRT is for the liver. Psoas muscle will be ‘traditional’ radiation, I think. Liver is the biggest concern being a vital organ.

      Thank you for your support, everyone. We really appreciate it.

  3. YES! Onward! Love and support all around for you.

  4. You go boy!!

    Lois, USA

  5. You and your family are very much in my thoughts as you continue your battle. Good luck x

  6. Kristian, I’m ‘delighted’ that the liver remains the only organ of involvement. Delighted that it has not spread. Not delighted that the liver is involved if you know what I mean 🙂 You are doing an amazing job with your treatment and I will keep up the prayers that you keep well in the good fight you are in. All the very best to you and your beautiful family.

  7. Wow, I am so happy to see your update. I have to admit to being a bit worried when I hadnt seen an unpdate for a while. Sounds like you have had a lovely few weeks and great news about your fight. Happy Birthday to your little boy and keep fighting the battle!!1

    Lorraine, Ireland

  8. Isaiah 28:5-6
    In that day the LORD Almighty
    will be a glorious crown,
    a beautiful wreath
    for the remnant of his people.
    He will be a spirit of justice
    to the one who sits in judgment,
    a source of strength
    to those who turn back the battle at the gate.

    You are, no doubt returning to battle, but I give you this reminder…you are not fighting alone. The LORD, himself is fighting for you and I am fighting for you in prayer.
    1 Samuel 17:47 “Then all this assembly shall know that the LORD does not save with sword and spear; for the battle is the Lord’s…

    Remembering that cancer is the enemy that we can see, but there is a darker enemy at work that we can not see, for we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.
    Ephesians 6:12

    So, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Ephesians 6:10

    Here’s a link to some encouragement.

    Blessings,
    Ginny

  9. Kristian, pardon me if you have addressed this before (and I somehow missed it), but is a liver transplant a viable option? I would think if it were, it would have been done by now, but I hear of partial transplants here in the States all the time that are extremely successful.

    Here’s to many more birthdays filled with smiles 🙂

    • Hi Chris.

      Technically, yes, a liver transplant would be possible. But I think in my situation where the cancer spread from another organ to the liver it would be unlikely. If I had primary liver cancer it wouldn’t be an issue but the risk of the cancer returning to the transplanted organ would likely be too high to justify. It is something we’ve asked about, though. Also, the risk of rejection is high… 50/50… as far as I understand it.

  10. I’ve been so scared about those markers heading up, so I can’t tell you how relieved I am to see that everything is still basically located in the one area. Relief. And yes. Another chance.

  11. I feel goosebumps all over. I am elated to hear the good news. Kudos to you for keeping up the good fight. Go, Kristian, go! Kick cancer’s ass!

  12. Every time I see a new comment from you, before I even read it, it brings me joy. It tells me you are alive and fighting. It tells me you are physically able to get to the computer, formulate your thoughts and pass them on to the people, that for whatever reason, feel connected to you and your wife and boys. Here’s to more and more celebrations!!! Sending you all nothing but love, Rose

  13. You’re strength riadates through the computer screen and we are all in this battle with you, side by side we stand in prayer for you!!!!!

    Hugs,
    Jody (from Canada eh!)

  14. Sorry to hear that your markers are climbing but happy to hear things are staying relatively concentrated and that you have a good plan of attack. Good luck for this next round of treatment. Prayers and fingers and toes crossed that it will be successful.
    Gina.

  15. Like someone said above, I have been concerned that there had been no recent posts..Elated that it is because you have been busy with life! So glad that you can have the SIRT again. Every time the enemy throws something at you God tosses back a blessing. I have no doubt you will win this fight. Our God is an awesome God!

    Prayers and hugs from Alabama.
    Lisa

  16. Awesome news! Still thinking and praying for you and your family. Keep up the good fight!

  17. I am so happy to hear the “positive” side of this news for you–I hope you are comforted by how many of us are pulling for you & your family, Kristian!!! Please let us know how the treatment/course of action is going…

    Hugs from Garner, NC,
    Alison

  18. DITTO to everything that’s been said…..so relieved to see your post and wonderful news – keep your armour polished and on at all times. Godspeed to you and your precious family……
    -the grandma from North Carolina w/non hodgkins lumphoma

  19. I have been following your progress since your plight became well known. I sit with every muscle tense when I read your posts. Its a short lived angst in comparison to yours. Whilst your boys dont get a ‘normal’ healthy dad they still have the best dad ever – one that loves them eternally and would do anything/everything for them. Thats more than some children ever get. No one could ask for more.

  20. That’s wonderful news that there is still good treatment for you and I am praying that it all works out for you! There is a website you may want to check out http://www.tamiboehmer.com/
    Tami has cancer in her liver that has spread from breast cancer. But she has received some really good treatment here in the US that I think is fairly new and is working for her. You can contact her also. I have had some contact with her via personal email and on her page. I’m not saying that i don’t believe in the treatment you are getting it’s just nice to have other options ready if needed. Take care I look up to you! You truely are a fighter and “winning” Keep up the good work! You will beat this. Praying for you

  21. One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
    Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
    In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
    Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
    other times there were one set of footprints.

    This bothered me because I noticed
    that during the low periods of my life,
    when I was suffering from
    anguish, sorrow or defeat,
    I could see only one set of footprints.

    So I said to the Lord,
    “You promised me Lord,
    that if I followed you,
    you would walk with me always.
    But I have noticed that during
    the most trying periods of my life
    there have only been one
    set of footprints in the sand.
    Why, when I needed you most,
    you have not been there for me?”

    The Lord replied,
    “The times when you have
    seen only one set of footprints,
    is when I carried you.”

  22. You are a shining example for everyone on this Planet. Bless You and your Precious Ones. I am thinking of you, sending Healing Energy and smiles…

  23. i know you have read this poen before, but i just heard it last night and thought of you and wanted to remind you of it

  24. Praising with you Kristian for this good news. Now will pray to our Lord and Saviour that the treatment will work, and for it to be easier for you this time as you go through it. You are an inspiration, and a wonderful role model to your family…

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