Please SIR, can I have some more?
It’s been a crazy few weeks.
I’ve been in three countries, shot a music documentary with one of my favourite bands, made new friends and had a whole bunch of medical tests.
It was Jakob’s birthday this week, too. He turned three. I was diagnosed when he was just one year old so he’s only ever really known Daddy to be “a bit sick”. Seeing his face light up as he opened his presents reminded me why this fight is so important. You can do whatever you want to my body, to my mind… but you will not see me give up this fight. For the sake of my children, if nothing else.
My cancer markers have been climbing steadily since we came home from our holiday, that upward trend we so don’t like to see, so a PET scan was ordered. My first since diagnosis. It doesn’t get more detailed than a PET scan and I was happy to have it done so we could find out what was going on inside of me.
My biggest fear was that the cancer had jumped to another part of my body.
After an anxious weekend awaiting the results it was determined that, thankfully, we’re still only dealing with the liver tumours. There are four of them that showed up black on the scan. Black indicating blood flow and activity. Two at the top of my liver and two at the bottom. Basically, they’re really misbehaving. There was also one small tumour that appears to have ‘dropped’ from my liver to my Psoas muscle, which is located in the pelvis. The doctors seem to think this will be easily eradicated by some targeted radiation, so it will be monitored.
And that’s where I’m headed again….radiation… SIR Therapy.
I was hoping it would still be an option as I had heard it could be a once-only type of thing due to it’s potency, and as you may or may not recall I had a pretty hefty dose of it in November 2010. Thankfully the team at St. Vincent’s Hospital here in Sydney were a) very happy to see me and b) in agreement that it would be possible and we should get it underway as soon as possible. I’m scheduled to go in next Thursday for the ‘work-up procedure’, which is where they do a test run to make sure the blood flow is all correct and not leaking anywhere outside of the liver. Then, if that’s all ok it’s the real procedure a week later.
I know it’s probably going to sound odd but driving home from the hospital after being given the green light was not without it’s emotional moments.
I was elated.
I had walked in that day not knowing if I was going to be able to have another shot and within one hour was driving home knowing that not only was I going to get another chance but that the Doctor’s believed the outcome could be very effective at knocking off these problem tumours. It was really quite overhwleming…. I have another chance.
Another chance to fight.
Another chance to live.
Another chance to celebrate the birth of my children.
Another chance to see another Christmas.
Another chance to wake up in the morning and see my beautiful wife laying next to me.
Another chance to be reminded of the grace of God that covers me daily as I walk through this seemingly endless valley. The neon lights that are His promises to me, lighting up the darkness, showing me the way forward when all other light fails.
This is surely the hardest, most intense set of circumstances I have ever faced. It’s been two years now of non-stop treatment and I am weary. It’s taking it’s toll on me and my family. It’s war, make no mistake. But I am ready for it. I have been to this particular battlefield before. I know the lay of the land and I have a strategy that is proven and effective. Smith and Anderson will face off here once again. I’ll take a beating, but I know Smith is going to come off second best.
I was made for this.
Life is calling loudly to me. It’s not the way I imagined my life would pan out but I’m here, armoured up and ready to roll.
Just you try and stop me.